Strength in Numbers
by Proud Mudblood
Summary: As JJ and Reid grow closer, so, too, does the rest of the team. But what happens when Doyle returns to tear them apart? Will they find Strength in Numbers...or be torn asunder?
1. JTF-12

**Alright my friednds, here it is, the sequel you've all been waiting for. It's earlier than promised, but I've decided on bi-weekly updates instead of weekly updates. **

**Also, I've decided I'm gonna do something new (for me, anyway) and recommend a Criminal Minds fic every chapter of this story. For this chapter, it's _Dumb and Ditzy_ by TimelessTears. It's a gen fic about what could have happened if Reid played at being...well, dumb and ditzy.**

* * *

_**JTF-12**_

JJ woke slowly, the normal confusion caused by the transmission from sleep to awareness lasting a little longer than usual. When she was fully awake, she realized she had fallen asleep on the couch and wondered how she had made it to bed.

Getting up, she padded softly down the stairs and found Reid sleeping surprisingly peacefully on the couch with a small smile on his face. Holding her breath, she gently rolled up his sleeves, praying she was right and there were no marks, that he had fallen asleep on his own.

She closed her eyes and breathed out a sigh at finding nothing, then jumped when she felt a hand on her arm. She opened her eyes to find Reid smiling at her.

"I'm sorry, Spence, I should have trusted you -"

Still surprisingly confident from yesterday, Reid placed a finger over her lips to stop her from talking. "No, you shouldn't have," Reid reassured her. "At least, not on this, and not yet. Some day, I hope, but not yet." He paused for a moment, then continued, sounding like he had to force the words out. "My arms aren't the only places to check, though; there's my thighs, between my toes, and even my armpits, too."

"Hey," JJ said softly, stroking his face and smiling gently, "we can and we will get through this; we've already beaten the worst of it."

Reid sighed and nodded. "That's true, but what about after a bad case? How much will I crave that feeling the drugs can give me?"

"When that happens, come to me. If you can't come to me, go to Emily - she's definitely seen you worse than you'll hopefully ever be again."

He grimaced. "Yeah, I need to apologize for attacking her that one time."

"Apology," Emily's sleepy voice said from behind him, her sentence interrupted by a yawn, "accepted," she finished just as sleepily before shuffling towards the kitchen for some coffee.

"She makes the weirdest exits," Reid muttered, making JJ laugh. "What, she does! There's no 'bye,' no 'see you later,' not even something in a foreign language! She replies to something you said, then walks away!" His reply just made JJ laugh harder.

"It's to keep me mysterious," Emily's voice floated to them from the kitchen.

"You aren't mysterious enough?" JJ asked, still fighting the giggles.

"What's mysterious about me?"

"Ummm...you managed to go from a desk job to the BAU without flinching at crime scenes? That's not enough? And don't tell me it's compartmentalization, I won't believe you," JJ mock-chided.

Emily stood in the doorway, thinking. Did she tell them about Doyle? About her undercover work? A large part of her wanted to tell her new friends, wanted to share, but another part told her it was not only illegal, but she still didn't know that much about either of them...

"You don't have to tell us if you don't want to," Reid said supportively, seeing the torn look on her face. "But you should know, after everything you did for me -"

"For us," JJ interrupted.

"- that we'll be here for you," he continued smoothly.

Coming to a snap decision, Emily decides that not only does she _want _to tell them, she _needs_ to tell someone, and that these were the best people for her to open up to. "Give me one minute to finish making my coffee," she said, sounding determined with an undertone of worry.

The couple on the couch nodded, exchanging a glance.

"You can do this," Emily whispered to herself in the kitchen. "They aren't going to turn away from you, and you'll all be that much closer with fewer secrets." With a deep breath, she turned and walked back into the living room, coffee in hand.

Sitting in the chair, she forced herself not to fidget nervously. Taking a sip from her coffee, she began with a question. "JJ, you've read my file right?"

JJ nodded. "Let me guess, no desk job?"

Emily nodded. "The closest thing I've had to a desk job is this one. What do you guys know about JTF-12?"

JJ shrugged and shook her head, not knowing what it was. Reid, however, said, "It was a team of profilers intended for deep cover to catch terrorists." Putting 2 and 2 together, the genius easily got 4 and asked, "You were a part of that?"

"Hang on, how do you even know about that?" Emily asked, her eyebrows rising. "It was top secret!"

Reid squirmed a little. "They...ummm...may have approached me."

Her eyebrows raised further. "But you would have been, what, 20?"

Reid nodded, flushed and uncomfortable with Emily's questions and JJ's awed stares. "They said that no one would expect someone of my age to be a spy. I kept trying to refuse, but they only left me alone when they realized how bad I was at lying."

"I guess we could have worked together even sooner," Emily said, sounding almost baffled by the thought.

"Why didn't you want to do it?" JJ asked.

"Pretending to be someone else? I couldn't do it, and I wouldn't want to," Reid explained.

"I wish I had said no, now," Emily sighed. The other two remained quiet, sensing this was the start of the story. "They were looking to bring down a terrorist who went by the name Valhalla." Reid opened his mouth to interrupt, but JJ squeezed his arm, and he closed it, eliciting a small smile from Emily. "His real name was Ian Doyle. He was an intelligent, ruthless, cunning man. Still is, I suppose. They could never pin anything on him, and no agents survived long undercover. They tried to get men on as part of his team, I think, but the new guy taking too much of an interest drew attention - too much attention.

"So, they tried a new tactic. Taking a look at the past women in his life, I was his type. They sent me in as a gun dealer named Lauren Reynolds with the intention of me getting more personal. It worked. Eventually, he trusted me enough to look after his son. He may have been an terrorist, but in private, he was a caring man who very much loved his son." She was staring at the ground, not able to look at them. "I think - I think I actually loved him, at some point. I tried to get him out of being a terrorist. I tried to prevent him from continuing, knowing it would get him caught."

It was clearly painful to tell them that, but JJ didn't know what to say. Reid, thankfully, actually did. "Emily, we don't think any less of you. If anything, I think more of you." Her head snapped up and she looked puzzled and shocked. "You fell in love with him, yet you put him in jail, anyway. I'm assuming he actually is in jail, right?" Emily nodded. "There you go, you managed to be strong enough to put someone you love in jail. I don't think I could be strong enough to put JJ in jail even if she turned into a serial killer."

"I don't think I could do that to Spence either," JJ said.

"Yeah, but you didn't fall in love with someone who was a known terrorist," Emily rebutted, her voice rising as her emotions got the best of her.

"You can't choose who you fall in love with," JJ answered softly. "Emotions aren't dictated by logic, love is easily the hardest to explain. Most of the time, you can explain why someone is jealous, or angry, or sad, or happy - but you can never truly explain what makes you love someone."

"Thanks, JJ," Emily said just as softly.

Then, with a deep breath, she continued, "But I didn't just love Ian - I loved Declan, too. Almost as much as I think I would love a child of my own. So I had to protect him from his father's life. And I had to prevent Ian Doyle from having a reason to escape prison - 'cause he could, if he really wanted to - so I...I staged Declan's and his nanny's death." She waited nervously, as though expecting some horrific judgement to be passed down upon her.

"That sounds like a really good thing to do," JJ said. Again, Emily's head snapped up, the same look of shock and puzzlement on her face as when Reid had said how much he thought of her. "You saved him from the horrors of his father's life, and kept a terrorist in jail for a longer than he would be."

"You don't understand," Emily said, shaking her head.

"What do you mean, 'longer than he would be?'" Reid asked at the same time.

"If he's resourceful enough to get out of prison, he's going to do so," JJ answered Reid first. "The death of his son will certainly slow him down, but he'll want to escape and get revenge at some point." Turning to a horrified-looking Emily, she asked, "And what don't I understand?"

Emily pushed back the thoughts of an escaped Doyle looking for revenge. "I-I couldn't tell Declan or Louise - that's the nanny's name - because their reactions had to look real; so they really thought I was going to shoot them." There were tears in her eyes as she whispered, "I traumatized that poor boy."

"Stop it," JJ reprimanded harshly. Both people looked at her in surprise. "Even if you did, which I doubt, which would traumatize him more? Someone he trusts pointing a gun at him - or waving a knife, or whatever you did - or the work his father does-did?"

"I pointed a gun at him," Emily answered, thinking on what she said. Sighing, she admitted, "You're right. I guess I just wanted to feel guilty for something, for taking 4 years to bring down a terrorist."

JJ pulled her into a hug, finally releasing her hold on Reid. "Anytime," she said. Pulling back, she said, "Now we drink."

Reid looked at her askance. "It's not even 11 yet!" He protested.

"And yet, Emily already illegally spilled a painful secret," JJ rebutted, heading towards her kitchen. "What better time?"

He didn't have a response to that.

* * *

**Maybe I'm wrong, but I always thought the thing with Ian Doyle seemed to be eating at Emily - and unnecessarily. If I'm wrong, sue me.**


	2. Painful Memories

**I found some holes in Reid's story, and wanted to write a story that filled them in; I do not like the answers I came up with, and felt really dirty after writing this chapter. If you feel like bathing in bleach after reading this, you are not alone.**

**Recommendation for this chapter is _Retrograde_ by Nuwanda31. A Reid/Emily fic where Reid has lost his memory - all of it.**

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**_Painful Memories _**

JJ had brought out Scotch, and the way they were drinking, it didn't take long for everyone to be drunk. Not drunk enough to forget what happened, just drunk enough to lower inhibitions. So, given Emily's story, they naturally began a conversation involving painful memories because it's what their minds were already on.

"Spence's attempted suicide was not the first one I walked in on," JJ said, just slightly slurred. Reid froze, glass at his lips. Emily froze as well, mid-swallow. JJ reached into her shirt and took out the necklace she was always wearing. "When I was eleven, my sister, Madeleine - Maddy, for short - gave me her necklace. This necklace. She told me to remember all the good things in life. I was tired - it was after midnight - so I said okay, and went back to sleep. I went to ask her why the next morning and found her -" she choked back a sob, "-and found her hanging from her fan. I always wondered if it had to do with our father, he had died recently. But I wish I _knew_, for certain. I wish she 'd left me more than a necklace and too few happy memories.

Reid seemed frozen, thoughts clearly buzzing around his mind, so Emily pulled JJ into a hug, instead. A moment later, Reid hugged them both. _Even if I'm right, I'll be here for JJ,_ Reid thought as he hugged them, _just like I would be for Emily. Just like they were for me. _So, in an attempt to alleviate JJ's pain, he changed the subject, and figured fair was fair - a deduction probably inspired by alcohol - and began to share a painful memory of his own.

"You guys," Reid squeaked. He cleared his throat and tried again. "You guys remember how...remember how my dad left, despite the fact that my mom was schizophrenic while I was ten?" Emily and JJ nodded. "Did you guys wonder how I paid for everything? Even assuming the house was paid off, there's still the heating, the electricity, the water, the gas, my mom's pills. Then college and my mom's care in a sanitarium? I mean, it wasn't like she could work anymore, and, obviously, I was ten."

Emily and JJ exchanged looks. Reid was unable to look at them, and they knew it was bad. Pushing Maddy to the back of their minds, they shifted so they were both hugging Reid. Despite his typical dislike of being touched, Reid found himself relaxing. Continuing, he laid out the back story. "Shortly after my dad left, I was staying after school, in the library. Harper Hillman came up to me, told me Alexa Lisbon was behind the field house, waiting for me. And, at the time, I had a huge crush on her. So, despite ever ounce of logic screaming at me that this was a trap, I went." He stopped for a moment, not really sure why he thought telling them all of this was a good thing. But maybe he needed to tell someone.

"Alexa wasn't there, was she?" Emily asked, interrupting his thoughts.

"Oh, she was there," Reid answered, bitterness tingeing his voice. "She just happened to have the entire football team with her. They...they stripped me naked, and tied me to the goal post. No one helped, no matter how much I begged. They just stood there, watching. Pretty soon, they got bored and left. I was still tied to the goal post." He fell silent, not even appearing to register JJ's almost painful grip around him or Emily's sorrow-filled eyes.

"Moments after they left, the football coach walked out. Turns out, he'd watched the whole thing." He winced slightly as JJ's grip tightened further and Emily's eyes widened, suspecting where this was going. "He could have easily just raped me, but he didn't. Maybe he was afraid I would tell, I don't know. Instead, he told me he knew about my mom and her illness. He didn't know exactly what was wrong with her, but he knew she wasn't stable. He knew my dad had left. He threatened to call the police, have me placed in foster care." Reid forced a chuckle. "I don't think he expected me to call him the bastard of a Neanderthal and a whore with an amoeba-sized brain."

"_You_ said that?!" Emily exclaimed. "Straight-laced, nerdy, Reid said that?!"

Reid nodded. "I probably would have continued, too, but he lost his temper and gut-punched me. Oh, and did I mention he used to box as a hobby?" Again, that forced, humorless chuckle. "But he regained control of himself, and realized that wasn't how he was going to get me. So he switched tactics. Started talking about bills, and medication, and how much they cost. I hadn't even thought of that, yet. I was starting to panic, and he knew he had me. He told me -" Reid swallowed convulsively, his mouth suddenly bone dry, "he told me we could make a deal; he'd pay for everything if I-if I _played_," he spat the word, "with him once a week. I didn't know what to do; I was too young to get a job or go to the casinos no matter how smart I was, and I _needed_ those things. So I agreed."

"Reid," Emily began hesitantly after a moment of silence, "I know this isn't what you want to hear, but you need to press charges."

"No, I don't," Reid said quietly.

Emily, fully believing Reid just didn't want to confront it, persisted, "Reid, other kids could be in danger."

"No, they're not," Reid replied. Before Emily could, again, persist, he turned to JJ. "Do you remember Phillip Dowd?"

Blinking at the change of topic (and her tears away) JJ answered, "Yeah, what about him?"

"Did you never find it odd? How I could fail my qualifications, but nail Dowd in almost exactly the dead center of his forehead?"

"What are you saying?" JJ asked cautiously after thinking on it for a moment.

"When I was seventeen, Coach Davies - that was his name - finished paying for a car for me. I still looked about twelve, so... Anyway, I had a job as a pizza delivery boy, and managed to save quite a bit of money thanks to him, both from deliveries, and the fact that I fudged the number on the bills by a few hundred. I'll never know why, but I told him I was going to tell the police everything. He laughed, and pulled out some DVDs. DVDs of what he'd done to me. DVDs of me _begging_..." Reid looked away, unable to finish the sentence. There was a moment of silence before he continued, "He'd been - he'd been selling them on the black market. That was how he was able to afford everything on a high school coach's salary. Said if he got arrested, everyone would see them. I was nervous, but told him, I was still going through with it. He freaked. He pulled a gun I never knew he had and waved it in my face, threatening me. He should have remembered that didn't work. Before he knew what happened, I had pulled the gun from his hands. He looked so..._shocked_ that I could dare to stand up to him, still. Maybe he didn't fully believe it, though, because he lunged at me, and I...and I shot him," he whispered the last bit.

"I panicked," he continued. "I put some rubber gloves on from under the sink, took my shoes off and laid them by the door, then searched every inch of his house for DVDs. Then I wiped every hard surface, vacuumed the rugs, couches, pillows, and chairs, grabbed the gun, emptied the vacuum, wiped that down, and left. The gun went in the ocean, and I burned everything else in the middle of the desert. It's still down as an unsolved homicide. When I first shot a gun in the FBI, my first shot was dead center. It scared the shit out of me. I failed my qualifications because I was afraid that having a gun would make it too easy to sink into a darkness I wanted to avoid. I was afraid of myself with a gun. I didn't want to go around killing every UnSub. I didn't want to _become_ an UnSub. So I failed."

There was a moment of silence. Reid was looking down, his arms wrapped around himself, and rocking slightly, despite JJ's arms around him and Emily's arms around both of them.

"Spence," JJ broke the silence. He stopped rocking, but didn't look up. "I don't blame you -"

"_We_ don't blame you," Emily interjected.

"It was self-defense," JJ continued. A part of her wondered if Davies was also the reason he wanted to wait, but she pushed that down and focused on reassuring him. "We don't blame you. It wasn't your fault. You reacted on instinct."

"And what does it say about me that my first instinct was to kill?"

"It wasn't," Emily protested. "Your first instinct was to tell the police. And when you killed him, that was you protecting yourself, _not_ murder."

"Then why did I go to his house?" Reid asked. "Why did I warn him, provoke him?"

"Reid, you know as well as I do that kids in your situation blame themselves," Emily said. JJ was acting as physical comfort, so Emily pulled back, and forced Reid's head up so she could look at him, even if he averted his eyes. "I bet it happened to you, too; some part of you felt like you deserved it, so you warned him. A part of you thought that, even though it was illegal, he did the right thing. That you deserved to be punished. That's why you warned him."

"Are you profiling me, Emily?" There was no real heat in his question.

"Yeah, I am," Emily admitted freely, her tone never changing from the reassuring one she had assumed. "I am profiling you, Dr. Reid, because you need it."

Finally, after all these years, he allowed the tears to flow. He sobbed into JJ's shoulder as she held him, unwrapping them from around himself and clutching JJ like the child he hadn't been since he was ten. And, gradually, the choked 'I'm sorry's gave way to mumbled 'Thank you's.

And, like before, JJ and Emily were there for him the entire time.

* * *

**Child abuse is not funny, or humorous, or light-hearted in any way, shape, or form. No abuse is. If you or someone you care about - or even someone you don't care about - is being abused, call the police. It's more important than a badly written fanfiction.**


	3. Truth

**Yes, I'm back. Unfortunately, updates are probably going to remain slow as my work hours have increased, and so has my actual work. Combined with school, therapy, friends, family, and the need to actually sleep, I am unable to write very much, but I will still be trying!**

**Recommendation for this chapter is _The Road Not Taken_ by whatif-ifonly. A Reid/JJ fic where JJ travels back in time six years...back to the case in Boston. I know the length can be scary to some, but I thnk it's worth it.**

**I struggled so hard with this chapter, and it probably shows. Sorry about that.**

* * *

_**Truth**_

Emily woke first, a bit confused as to where she was and why she was so warm. She blinked blearily for a moment, then it came rushing back, and she was wide awake.

She was using Reid's right arm as a pillow, and JJ's left arm was across her stomach. Reid was laying on his back, his right arm wrapped around JJ who was laying on top of him.

Moving slowly so as not to wake them up, Emily managed to remove herself from them and watched as they both just drew closer to each other. She smiled at them,as she went to make her morning cup of coffee.

She had grown extremely close to the two in the living room in what was, admittedly, the longest week of her life, but she would still be on the outside to the two of them. Not that she was complaining, _everyone_ was on the outside to the two of them, and after the last week - and especially last night - she probably knew them better than anyone else on the outside, she just wished she could have her own _inside_ with someone of her own. She wondered if she could, or if she was too jaded, too guarded, to let anyone in that way.

"You alright?" Reid's sleepy voice came from behind her, startling her, and causing her to whip around.

"Jeez, Reid, you scared the crap out o' me," Emily commented. "Yeah, I'm fine. What are you doing up?"

"My right arm got pins and needles, it woke me up," Reid explained. "But don't change the subject; even without profiling, I could tell you were deep in thought when I walked in."

"I don't want to talk about it," Emily said, turning back towards the coffee pot.

Even though she couldn't see it, Reid shrugged. "Okay," he said.

"What?" Emily exclaimed, turning around again. "That's it? You're not gonna push?"

He shrugged again. "Not really. If you don't wanna talk about it, I'm not gonna make you. I hate when people do that to me. If you want to talk, I'm here, though. And I'm confident that JJ would be, too."

"I would be," JJ confirmed around a yawn, stepping into the doorway beside Reid. Emily noticed a slight tensing around Reid's eyes when JJ leaned into him, but decided to wait until they were alone. "But, in the meantime, I'm gonna go call Hotch, let him know that we'll be back tomorrow." And she walked out.

_Ask and ye shall receive_, Emily thought wryly. "What was that, Reid?"

"What was what?"

"You tensed a little when JJ leaned against you," Emily clarified, despite knowing that he knew full well what she was talking about. "I know you hate when people push you - you just told me, after all - but this could hurt JJ, too."

Reid sighed and looked away, unconsciously tapping his fingers against his thighs. "I'm just worried. I'm worried that it's not real, that she doesn't actually love me. Her sister committed suicide, and then I attempted to, as well, leaving a letter on what I felt. What if she's just, on a subconscious level, trying to save me because she couldn't save her sister? What if she's just trying to make me happy enough to not commit suicide because of her sister? And what will happen when she realizes she doesn't love me?" He was whispering by the end.

Emily walked over and engulfed him in a a hug. "It's not gonna happen, Reid. You didn't see her in the hospital waiting room, it was...scary."

He winced slightly. "I heard. But -"

"No!" Emily interrupted sharply. "No 'buts.' Yes, you heard, but that's not the same as seeing it with your own eyes. If I described a crime scene to you, would you have the same reaction as seeing it? Hell, we both know that even seeing photographic evidence is different than actually seeing it."

"True," he admitted slowly. "But that -"

"No buts! Because trust me, that look in her eyes is definitely love," she reassured, pulling back slightly and giving him a smile.

"I swear, I leave you guys alone for a minute and you're in a compromising position," JJ teased.

It was teasing that Reid clearly missed. "What?! JJ, no, I would never do that!" He protested, looking panicked and hurt all at once as Emily stepped back with a grin, well aware of what the clueless genius missed.

"Relax, honey, I know you wouldn't," JJ reassured, pulling him into her own hug. "I was teasing. I trust you."

"Oh," he said, blinking. "So what did Hotch say?" He changed the subject, ignoring his slightly warmed cheeks. _Why can't I ever get this right?_

"He basically just asked if I was sure, and then told us that he'd be grateful 'cause they apparently have trouble without us," she explained with a grin.

"I suppose that happens when they're down three agents," Emily commented. "I just wonder how he explained the three of us being absent to Strauss."

"I don't know, and I don't care, just as long as we aren't fired for it," JJ said, pulling back so she was leaning against Reid, her fingers intertwined with his.

"Or that he didn't put his job on the line," Reid interjected softly.

"So what are we going to do for the rest of the day?" Emily asked, breaking the uncomfortable silence as she finished making her coffee.

"We could play cards," Reid suggested.

"NO!" Both women shouted together.

JJ continued, "Spence, I love you, but we are _not_ spending the day with you counting cards and kicking our asses."

He shrugged and managed to look pleased and sheepish at the same time; he didn't think it was possible to get tired of hearing JJ say she loved him.

"Why don't we go out to breakfast and just go from there?" Suggested Emily after another moment of thoughtful silence.

"I vote for showering, first," JJ said.

"Agreed," said Emily and Reid at the same time.

"I feel like I haven't showered in days," Emily said with a grimace.

"Have you?" Reid asked curiously.

"'Feel like,' Spence," JJ answered answered for her.

"Ah. Right." He looked embarrassed, and Emily smirked at him as she left the room.

"Seriously, does she ever say goodbye, or see you later, or _something_?"

JJ just laughed at him, glad she had told Emily how much leaving without saying anything remotely like goodbye had bugged him; she thought he looked adorable when he got worked up.

* * *

They ended up at an IHOP down the street, where Emily and JJ watched in awe as Reid packed away 4 pancakes, 3 eggs, 6 sausages, 2 waffles, and 4 cups of coffee.

"Where does he put it?" Emily asked JJ, still staring at Reid.

"I hope to find out," JJ said with a grin.

Emily laughed. "Yeah, I bet it's weird to have the guy hold out on you instead of the either way around, huh?"

JJ nodded, and Reid said, "You guys do know I can hear you, right?"

Emily raised an eyebrow at him, clearly saying, 'Yeah, and?' JJ just smirked, and made it very obvious she was eyeing him up and down despite the table in the way, causing him to blush and squirm in his seat while Emily laughed at his discomfort.

"I'm just gonna keep quiet," Reid mumbled, looking down at his now empty plate.

"See, JJ, he is a genius," Emily teased a little more, making JJ laugh.

Reid blushed further, but stuck to his promise to stay silent, which just made the two women laugh a little more.

"Alright, let's pay and get out of here," JJ said, finally taking pity on the socially inept genius.

"I've got it," Reid said, picking up the check the waitress placed on the table.

"Are you sure?" Emily asked, already reaching for her pocketbook. JJ was also reaching for hers.

"I'm sure," he said decisively. "I still have plenty of money from Davies, and I've decided I want to get rid of it."

Both of the ladies tensed slightly, but allowed him to pay. But Emily had to ask as the waitress was walking away, "How do you still have money from Davies?"

"I refused to touch it once I had my own money," Reid said as he placed his debit card with the check and leaned back, forcing himself to relax. "I decided I wanted nothing to do with him beyond what I needed. But that was illogical, so instead, I'm going to use that money to make you guys and the rest of the team happy in whatever way I can, and get rid of anything still tying me to him."

They both nodded, but Emily had another question, since Reid seemed to be relatively okay talking about this. "Reid, you remember what you called Davies, when you were still on the football field?" Reid tensed back up slightly, but nodded. "What changed? I could never picture you using such language now."

Reid stared at his plate, and none of the trio noticed the waitress return for the check. After a minute, JJ reached over and grabbed one of his hands, giving it a squeeze, silently saying he didn't have to do this.

"Davies...he was a_...fan_...of punishment games," Reid finally said, his grip almost crushing JJ's hand. "He punished me for my language and for insults and sometimes for no reason at all. I quickly decided it was easier to give him fewer excuses."

"But why did you talk like that at 12 in the first place?" JJ had to ask.

"I was 12 in public high school; I couldn't physically defend myself," Reid explained. "But words...I've always known words. And I could use words to get back at my tormentors. I could be rather...vicious, actually, sometimes overreacting and going too far. I always knew where to prod that would get them to back off. Well, maybe not always, as Davies demonstrated, and I had more trouble with groups, and if there were too many people they just got angry and the torment was worse; I figured that out real quick when I antagonized the quarterback in front of the football team," he rambled.

Both nodded, but this time it was JJ who had the question. "Since we're being so open about it..." JJ began, "How is it that two days ago you said you were bad at lying, but yesterday you explained that every gun test was actually faked. Isn't that a lie, too?" She winced at the end as she realized how that sounded. "And I didn't mean that to be as accusatory as it sounded."

Reod thought about it for a moment. "I guess...I guess I never really thought about it as lying," he finally said. "I was afraid of the gun, essentially. And I really was upset about failing my gun qualifications, not because I didn't get the gun, but because I was afraid you guys would see me as less." _Which means that whistle Morgan gave him must have really hurt, _JJ thought with an internal wince. "Like I said, I just never really thought of it as lying - maybe that made a difference."

Thankfully, there were no more questions as the waitress returned with Reid's card, and the trio left silently.

* * *

"We should play truth or dare," Emily suggested out of the blue as they walked back.

"What? Are you taking lessons from Garcia, too?" JJ asked. Reid stayed silent, but listened.

"What do you mean, too?" Emily asked, eyeing the other woman suspiciously.

"Umm...nevermind." _No way can I tell her about "Operation: M.E.F."_

"It's something to do, it can be fun, and it will help us get to know each other better," Emily said, still eyeing JJ.

JJ stared at her for a moment, wondering at the mischievousness in her eyes, but agreed. "Sure. Are we starting now?"

"We can, but just in case something embarrassing pops up, I think we should start when we get back to your place," Emily replied.

"Good point."

"What's truth or dare?" Reid asked. "I mean, obviously, it has something to do with telling the truth and either making or taking dares, but is it a board game or something?"

"Wait, you don't know what truth or dare is?" JJ asked.

"No."

"Come on, Emily, this requires an intervention," JJ said, grabbing Reid's arm and pulling him as she broke into a jog. Emily laughed, grabbed his other arm, and matched her pace.

Reid didn't know why, but he allowed himself to be pulled, half-heartedly protesting with a smile on his face.

* * *

"Alright, Reid, here are the rules," Emily explained as they sat on the floor of the living room. "We go around the circle, each person taking turns being the interrogator or instigator, depending on what the victim chooses."

"Victim?" Reid asked with a gulp. JJ grinned on the sidelines at how dramatic Emily made it seem.

Emily just smirked and continued. "For example, if I was first, I could turn to JJ and ask her, 'Truth, or dare?' She would pick one. If she says truth, I will simply ask her a question, and she has to answer truthfully. If she picks dare, I dare her to do something and she has to do it. Obviously, there are limits, nothing truly humiliating or dangerous. Embarrassing, however, is perfectly fine," she ended, a predatory grin in place. "Got it?"

Reid gulped, but nodded nervously.

"Good. I'll go first, then JJ, then you, so you can get the idea. JJ, truth, or dare?"

"Hmmm...I'm gonna have to go with truth."

"Let's see... Ah, I've got one! When did you fall in love with our resident genius?" She asked with a grin.

"When did I fall, or when did I reallize I fell?" JJ asked for clarification. She had a feeling she knew what that mischievous glint in Emily's eyes before meant, now.

"When did you fall." Emily replied.

"Before you joined the team, Gideon gave Spence tickets to a Redskins game, my favorite team," JJ said. "It was obvious that he had no idea what was going on and that he didn't really care," she smiled at Reid, who blushed and looked down, "but he tried so hard for me, cheering when he saw me jump up and cheer, yelling when he saw me yelling. I loved that he tried so hard to make me happy, even though it wasn't what he liked."

"Aww, he's so adorable," Emily teased, making Reid blush even harder.

Thankfully, JJ decided Reid had had enough teasing for the day, and it was Emily's turn for a certain question. "So Emily, truth or dare?"

"I will also choose truth."

"Okay...let's see..." JJ pondered for a moment. "Alright I got it; what made you decide to join the FBI?"

"Really? That's it?" Emily looked disappointed. "It just seemed like a natural progression to go from a profiling team that I couldn't really tell anyone about to a profiling team I could brag about that allowed me to do more than one case in five years."

JJ looked disappointed at the answer, but nodded to Reid to let him know it was his turn.

"Emily, truth or dare?"

"Hmmm...let's go with dare this time," Emily said, smirking.

For some reason, this through Reid for a loop. Maybe because he'd only seen them play, and they had both said truth. But he recovered quickly and said, "I dare you to tell the truth about why you agreed to join Interpol and JTF-12."

JJ smiled and Emily laughed loudly. "Creative, Dr. Reid, very creative. I'll let it go this time, but from now on, no using dares to get a truth," she scolded lightlly. "I originally joined because it was almost the exact opposite of what my mother wanted me to do and I knew it would piss her off; I never intended to do it for long. But then I found that I quite enjoyed it and stuck with it."

"Really?" JJ interrupted, amused. "This was basically a rebellion against your mother?"

"Yep, a 20-year rebellion," Emily agreed cheerfully, "but I believe it is my turn. So, Dr. Reid, truth or dare?"

"Truth," he said confidently.

"When did you fall in love with our beautiful, blonde, liaison?"

"It was 5 months, 2 weeks, 3 days, 4 hours, 23 minutes, and 17 seconds after I had met her," Reid answered, smirking to indicate that was all he was saying.

Emily mock-glared at him, letting him know that she wasn't pleased with his evasion but was letting it slide.

JJ, however, did not. "Truth or dare, Spence?"

"Truth," he said again.

"What were we doing when you fell in love with me?"

"Me? I was pretending to sleep on the jet on the way back. It had been a rough case, the first one I'd personally seen with children involved. It was rather obvious to everyone that I was upset about it - as were you - but instead of trying to hide from it - like I did - you confronted it head on. While you thought I was sleeping you kissed me on the forehead and whispered in my ear, 'I know this bothers you; it bothers me, too. But we can get through it, and by doing this job, we can prevent it from happening to more children.'"

"You were awake for that?" She asked, surprised; he had done a good job of faking sleep.

He nodded. "It was the first time I saw your strength and your compassion for others together - but not the last," he said quietly.

"Okay, your turn," Emily said.

Reid tilted his head in thought for a moment. "JJ, truth or dare?"

Her eyes darkened slightly. "Dare," she said huskily, making Reid swallow convulsively.

"I'm still here, JJ," Emily said with a smirk.

She nodded, but didn't take her eyes off of Reid as he thought. "I dare you to call Will LaMontagne and tell him you made a mistake giving him your number," he finally said, looking uncomfortable at giving her an order.

"That would look kind of suspicious, since I already told him that," JJ answered, all lust gone as she realized how truly nervous he really was at telling her what to do. Or maybe it was what he was telling her to do, saying that she was with him and praying that she wouldn't back off.

She shook her head slightly at herself, _Stop acting like a profiler._

"Spence, I'm in this all the way," JJ reassured him.

"Me too," Spence whispered. Impulsively, he leaned over and pulled her into a hug.

_And the truth shall set you free,_ Emily thought. Then she smirked. _Or perhaps truth or dare will set you free._

* * *

**I know, the chapter was terrible. Sorry, it's been a few years since I played truth or dare, and I always sucked at coming up with either.**


	4. Work Again

**Yes, it's finally here! However, I'm working 40+ hours a week, so I can't promise anything for chapter 5, I'm sorry.**

**The recommendation for this chapter is **_**The Consultant**_** by FairyT. Another Reid/Emily fic, where the incident on the football field had worse consequences, and Reid could only join the FBI as a consultant several years later. I think I've read it four times already, and I've been reading Criminal Minds fanfiction for less than a year. I admit it, as much as I like JJ/Reid (and I really like them) I'm a bigger fan of Reid/Emily. I always felt like, despite the age difference (or perhaps because of it) they just meshed really well. Don't shoot!**

* * *

_**Work Again**_

Thursday morning found the trio waking up in different parts of the house, much the way they had that first morning after Reid's symptoms finally ended.

"This is the earliest I've been awake in a week," Emily moaned.

"At least you got to sleep most of that week," Reid grumbled back.

JJ just made the coffee, eyes bleary as they all got ready for their first day back at work.

"I'll be," Emily was cut off by her own yawn, "in the shower. Just knock every five minutes to make sure I'm awake," she said, trudging towards the bathroom.

JJ and Reid nodded tiredly, eyes focused on the machine that would soon deliver delicious, caffeinated goodness to them.

* * *

Thankfully, the trio were their normal selves as they entered the bullpen, chatting and laughing.

Morgan, of course, spotted them first, and came up to them all smiles. "Hey, guys, great to see you again. Especially you two," he said pointing at Reid and Emily, "because I've been lonely in the bullpen."

"Right," Emily scoffed, "'cause I'm sure Garcia let you be lonely. Honestly, I'm just waiting for you two to wake up and realize you belong together."

JJ and Reid laughed as Morgan sputtered, "What?! No, no, we're just friends who like to tease!" He tried to defend, but JJ and Reid just laughed harder, and Emily wore a large smirk.

"Right," she continued, "just like these two were just friends," she jabbed her fingers at JJ and Reid, who, instead of being embarrassed, grinned and nodded. clearly agreeing with her. "Methinks the lady doth protest too much."

Luckily for Morgan's ego, Hotch came out and interrupted them. "Hey, guys, glad you're back. You're right on time, 'cause we have a case; Garcia will be doing the briefing since you don't know what the case is, JJ," he told them, heading to Gideon's office to let him know.

"Aww, c'mon, we don't even get a day?" Emily groaned to the other three.

"Hey, Princess, you guys got just over a week of vacation, so don't whine to me," Morgan said. "Oh, and never call me a lady again."

"Tell you what, _lady_, how about we go back to the beginning of that week, and we can switch places; you can detox and I'll take cases. Sound good?" Reid interrupted, eyes narrowed.

"Hey, hey, kid, relax," Morgan tried to calm him down, hands raised in surrender. "I was just teasin'."

JJ reached down and intertwined his hand with hers, making Morgan arch an eyebrow and grin, and Reid to first tense, then relax. "Sorry, Morgan, didn't mean to snap," he apologized, a little sheepishly.

"I'd save the apologies for Garcia if I were you," Morgan said with an evil grin. "I think she's still a little pissed at you."

"Wait, Garcia's mad at you?" JJ asked, somewhat skeptically, as Reid groaned. _Can Garcia even _get _mad?_ JJ wondered. Emily looked just as skeptical.

"But it's been a week?" He half-said, half-asked.

Morgan just kept grinning and walked towards the conference room. "Wait, hang on, what's Garcia mad about?" Emily asked.

"I'm not completely sure," Reid said as though distracted, and began to head towards the conference room, hoping they wouldn't ask again.

"Alright, I'll just go ask Garcia, then," JJ declared, releasing Reid's hand and heading towards the tech goddess's lair. Emily followed and they were gone before Reid could think of anything to say.

"I just hope all three aren't angry at me afterwards," he muttered, shuddering as he headed to the conference room.

"Seriously, man, how are you doin' now?" Morgan asked, hands crossed behind his head as he leaned back and relaxed in the chair in an attempt to get Reid to relax.

"A lot better," he said, a silly grin crossing his face.

"Yeah?" Morgan asked, a grin growing on his own face again. "So what was with JJ holding your hand earlier? And does it have anything to do with the silly grin on your face?"

Reid blushed a little, but he didn't duck his head and his grin grew wider. "Well, we haven't really talked about it a whole lot, I was too busy detoxing, and then we weren't really alone, but she loves me, too!"

"Good for you, man," Morgan said. "Can't really say I'm surprised, though."

"Really?" Reid asked curiously. "Because she admits that she didn't know until my letter."

Morgan nodded thoughtfully. "I can see that. But if you had seen the look on her face in the hospital - or the look on her face when you died while Hankel had you - you would understand."

"Yeah, I've been thinking about that..." Reid said slowly. "If my attempted suicide -" Morgan winced, "what?"

"It's just...it's hard to think about," Morgan admitted, all joviality gone. "I don't think I'll ever be able to say it that casually. But, you were saying?"

"If my attempted suicide was what made her realize, why didn't she realize when Hankel killed me?"

"First," Morgan answered, "I believe it was your letter that opened her eyes more than your...ummm...let's call it a poor choice, and second, there was so much to process and do when Hankel was involved she probably couldn't get the opportunity to think on it."

Reid nodded slowly, clearly turning it over in his mind.

* * *

JJ knocked, waited a very brief moment, then walked into Garcia's office, Emily trailing behind her. "Hey, Garcia!" She greeted.

"Peaches!" Garcia cheered, jumping up and smother her in a hug. "And the chaperone, too!" She said, drawing Emily into a hug, as well. "Did she and Junior G-Man behave?"

Emily smirked. "Despite all of JJ's efforts, they did."

"But we hear you're mad at Reid?" JJ led before Garcia could respond, ignoring her slight blush and attempting to change the topic.

"Uh-uh," Garcia chided, "no changing this subject. So why was it just JJ's efforts?" Garcia asked, turning back to Emily. "Didn't Reid want to lose his virginity?" She joked, making Emily and JJ wince. "What? What is it?"

"Ummm...Reid wanted to wait, he wants to 'court and woo' JJ," Emily answered, her mind elsewhere. _Did Reid think of Davies every time we teased him about 'inexperience?'_

"Nuh-uh, not you, too," Garcia chided. "No changing the subject! What. Was. With. The. Winces?" She demanded forcefully.

"It's not our story to tell, Garcia," JJ said simply. "But why are you mad at Reid?"

Garcia sighed, not satisfied with the answer, but understanding it. "I'm not really mad...just hurt by what he did," Garcia admitted. "I mean, fifteen minutes later, and he wouldn't -" her voice cracked, "he wouldn't have surv-...wouldn't have been saved."

"I've been trying not to think about it," JJ admitted quietly.

"But if you'd seen what he had to deal with..." Emily shook her head. "It's incredible how strong he is compared to how weak he thinks he is. Everything he's gone through..." She shook her head again.

Garcia narrowed her eyes at them. "You're talking about more than Hankel and the drugs, aren't you?" She asked suspiciously.

"Garcia, he graduated high school at _twelve_," JJ said. "How do you think the kids then were?"

"It's more than that," she said, her eyes narrowing further. "You know something - or _things _- specifically. I may not be a profiler, but I can tell that much."

"Like JJ said, it's not our story to tell," Emily said firmly. "And even if it was, I'm pretty sure you have a case to present now."

Garcia wasn't accepting defeat, but she could put the battle on hold for now, and nodded as she got up so the three of them could head to the conference room.

Just before they reached it, JJ pulled Garcia to a stop. "Before you're too hard on Spence, try to remember that he had literally zero support from the time he was ten until Gideon took him under his wing, and that it's still difficult for him to ask for help. Then keep in mind that most of his schooling was spent being bullied, with no one to tell him that he didn't deserve to be treated that way." And with that, she headed into the conference room.

Garcia stood in the hall for a moment, putting a new perspective on her hurt, and suddenly found she was hurt for a whole new reason. Bustling into the conference room, she immediately found Reid and pulled him into a fierce hug. Rather than let on how upset she was on his behalf, she exclaimed, "Junior G-Man! I'm so glad you're back!" Pulling back, she scolded him, "And never do this again!" Then she marched to the front, leaving a bewildered Reid, a smirking Emily, a softly smiling JJ, and a confused but laughing Morgan.

"At least she's not mad?" Reid offered bemusedly.

* * *

The mood on the plane ride back a few days later was quite cheerful; they'd managed to catch the UnSub before she could do more than kidnap someone else in the time they were there. The only person who seemed to break the mold was, naturally, the resident genius, who seemed to grow more and more distracted as the case went on.

Finally, when there was a lull in the conversation, Reid asked, "Hey, Morgan, can I talk to you for a minute?"

Morgan looked a bit confused for a moment, but acquiesced. JJ gave her boyfriend's hand a squeeze, suspecting what he wanted to talk about, and watched them head to the back of the plane.

"So what's up Kid?" Morgan asked, concerned for his friend, but still in a good mood.

Reid fidgeted for a moment, finding this even harder than he had expected it to be. "How do you deal with it?" He asked finally, as though expecting Morgan to just know what he was talking about.

"Deal with what?" Morgan asked, though something in Reid's voice made him not want to.

Reid's fidgets got a little worse before he visibly forced himself to calm down. "Carl Buford," was all he replied, but it was enough.

Morgan tensed, but managed to force down his temper and think about what made Reid ask. His anger left him in a rush. "What made you talk now? No, nevermind, I can guess. But what do you mean by deal with it?"

Reid took a deep breath and tried to get his hands to stop shaking. They didn't, but he continued anyway, "I still don't like touching people. Someone brushes up against me in a crowded place and I tense. I can't even shake hands with people I don't know!"

There was a momentary pause as Morgan considered what he was going to say, then he plowed on. "I think it's just a matter of time; you've definitely improved in the time I've known you, and your relationship with JJ can only help."

"You didn't answer my question."

Morgan briefly considered stalling with, "What question?" but it would serve no purpose, so he instead answered, "In the same way you do; I'm simply giving it time."

Reid looked shocked. "But…you seem past it," he half-said, half-asked hesitantly.

Morgan snorted bitterly. "You mean because of my '_experience_?'" He asked rhetorically. "No, that's not me being past it; that's me using women to make it seem like sex isn't such a big deal." Seeing the look on Reid's face, he hurriedly continued, "Don't get me wrong, though, they're using me, too. Whether it be because of self-esteem issues or just to have fun, we both end up using each other."

Reid remained silent for a moment, thinking it over. "Do you think…maybe…I could talk to you about it some time. I mean," he started to talk quicker, nervous, "I really love JJ, but I don't think this is something I can really talk with her about, and you understand, and-"

"Whoa, whoa," Morgan interrupted. "It's fine, kid, you can talk to me any time you want."

"Thanks," Reid whispered. There was another momentary silence, then he asked, still quiet, "Do you think you could talk to me, too?"

Morgan swallowed the instinctive _'no'_ that wanted to be said. Instead, he listened to the hope in Reid's voice, the desire to _help_ that made him such a good person. And he said, "I think I could, kid," almost as quietly as Reid had asked his question. He cleared his throat and said, at a more typical volume, "But for now, let's get back to the rest of the team."

With a small smile, Reid nodded and managed not to flinch when Morgan put a friendly arm around his shoulders – even if he did tense slightly.

* * *

**On Fraternization: In the beginning of an episode, Reid made a comment to Morgan that there is no rule about fraternization outside of work, or something along those lines. Kevin, however, stated at some point that he was upset that he couldn't kiss Garcia at work. I take this to mean that, while there **_**are**_** fraternization rules, they're pretty much limited to behaving professionally at work, and nothing more.**

**I tried to write a case. It was bad. Terrible. Atrocity would not be too strong a term. So I tried again. If anything, it got **_**worse**_**. So I skipped it in the hopes of getting this out faster. Maybe I'll try again in the future. Or maybe not.**


	5. I'm On My Way

Yes, I'm still here! I apologize for the long delay - my days jumped from a little over 40 hours a week to a minimum of 60, and occasionally over 70. Last week I worked over 80! But I have now changed jobs and am back to a fairly even schedule of 40 hours a week. On the downside, I had all of my files saved here on FanFiction because my computer kept crashing, and because I've been away for so long, it's all gone. I hope to review/rewrite what I have in my posted stories, and start writing the next chapters in my stories within the next 2-3 weeks, and I hope to have something posted within the next 2 months. Keep your fingers crossed!

Proud Mudblood


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